So many people chase after an entirely false definition of success and in so doing, grow this culture of usery that not only permeates their professional lives but rapidly carries-over to their personal lives, reeking havoc. As a result most of us are starved for authenticity, affection and affirmation.
I believe it to be the epidemic that is destroying us from within.
It has become so bad and dark these days. Perhaps it’s because of my perspective at 52 years of age and so many experiences already behind me. Two failed marriages, one failed engagement and a plethora of failed relationships, mostly due to my own stupid fears, and well, just being dumb. Also, allowing myself to be played along, targeted by association for resources I simply don’t have, and after those experiences quite frankly, rather not.
I’m talked about as an “embarrassment to the family name.”
I see it differently, especially in light of the lesson I am about to share. And the fact that I am a single, full-time dad of teenage daughters.
From all those learning experiences I can now clearly and unequivocally state the absolute disdain I have for the casual, business-like approach these days toward human intimacy. How can that lead to anything good? Seriously. Has it ever? It’s nothing but darkness, and when it is done quid pro quo, well hell, it doesn’t get any darker than being in that place!
Also, I’ve traveled for business before, for several different employers in different areas of the country. I’ve also lived in a resort destination in South Carolina. I have a sister who currently lives in one, in Boca Raton, Florida. It has now become the norm rather than the exception with the illicit hook-ups that go on in hotel rooms among mostly married people attending company events and conventions. She tells me stories that make my skin crawl. I’m not kidding. It’s just the way to do business which is fueled by an abundance of alcohol and other drugs. “Oh well just put that one down on the company expense report.” It is unfreaking-believable.
The damage being done is catastrophic and everyone is afraid to talk about it.
How about that one for a “WTF.”
The human heart is sacred. It’s where the soul resides in this earthly existence. To play with someone’s heart – as if it were disposable like a plastic water bottle – will ALWAYS, ALWAYS lead to a blackness that no amount of money or self-medication will conquer. In fact both will bury the pit that much deeper!
The guilt and shame of playing with another person’s heart can not be disguised either by half-efforts at pretend “friendship” on Facebook and best budship after that line of intimacy has been crossed and a heart devoted. Here too, the pit only gets deeper and darker. “Here, have another drink.”
I speak from very painful experience. I know this to be true.
Everyone now has accepted life as one, big episode of “Survivor.” “I’m going to get mine and to hell with you.”
There is only one way out of that kind of life, if you can even call it a life.
What’s so disgusting these days is that it has become the norm for people approaching their senior years!!! Holy crap.
See, that’s what is so depressing these days. Back in my 20s I went overboard with those stupid, stupid behaviors. I hurt people. I carry that to this day and always will. The difference today is that I see people well into their 50s and 60s doing it even more than when they were younger!
We’ve created these corporate/social environments that actually promote the very behavior that rips apart loving relationships and families, all in the name of profit and this demented view of “success.”
Kids are imitating it in schools and on college campuses. They are being taught that treating people as objects to be used for their own benefit is perfectly fine. The hook-up culture must be ok because they see their parents doing it, right?
Social media has intensified the game while furthering the detachment.
It is not ok. It is dark. It is wrong. It is evil.
For those of you who mistakenly believe that there’s nothing wrong with the dismal path of human usery, that everyone just has “needs,” keep going and just see where you end up. I am going to fight for the real deal. Even if I never find it, or it never finds me, I’d rather be alone and true to love than live lonely, surrounded by “casual” friends and painfully mistaken. I will keep the fire. I refuse to settle for anything less.
If you are reading this and it is hitting close to home, it is not too late to turn in the right direction. Please.
I now know where I stand.